BAGHDAD, Iraq - U.S. forces in Ramadi have captured the 125th most wanted member of the former Baath Party. He is identified as Kharan Mogatur, a greeter at the former Baath Party shopping mall. He was apprehended at the mall, now called the Baghdad Mall, still serving as a greeter. "I am honest man," said Mogatur, "I work, I am paid. Yesterday, Saddam pay me. Today, Bremer pay me. What have I done?" Since he was recognized by U.S. troops without assistance from any Iraqis, no one will be able to claim the $75 bounty.

"It was just a lucky break that we were playing Pinochle last night," said a U.S. Special Forces member, "I saw the guy in the deck. He was one of the ten of clubs." He referred to the Double-Deck Pinochle Boxed Set that was released after most of the original deck had been apprehended. The 80 Baathists pictured on the cards are the new focus of the coalition investigation, now that the higher-ranking members are in custody.

"I have trouble keeping up my steam when it looks like we're rounding up a bunch a' nobody's," said another Special Forces member. "Look at these guys," he said, fanning a portion of the Pinochle deck. "Here's Al Un Dorum, former Baath Party cook. Here's a guy, they don't even have his name. Who doesn't look like him? And he was a gardener! Why are we after him?"

The State Department defends the new initiative. Their written response to our request for an interview said in part, "We are in the business of rounding up criminals. We aren't satisfied with just nailing the captains of crime. We want the first-mates. We want the helmsmen. We want everybody."